Return of Bizarro
by writer writing
Summary: Bizarro Clark has returned and creates a Bizarro Lois. Together they wreck havoc.
1. Chapter 1

Bizarro took a deep breath of fresh air. It was the first time he had been outside in a couple of months. When Clark gave him the super-powered punch, it had sent him flying toward the sun. The sun had damaged him a great deal, especially as Martian Manhunter had stranded him under the hot desert sun where there were no people around. It was as harmful to him as green kryptonite was to Clark. By the same token, it was the green kryptonite that restored him and the sun that restored Clark.

Luckily for Bizarro, Lex Luthor had found him and given him back his original strength, using the only thing that could help him, the green rock. He wouldn't have survived much longer in the desert and it had still taken quite awhile to completely recover from it. Lex obviously wanted him for his own evil purposes. Lex was a fool to think he could have him under his command. Lex had told him he couldn't leave the lab until he gave the say so but already he was defying him.

Both a weakness and a strength, he had obtained all of Clark's memories, thoughts and feelings. It was a strength because he could use these things against Clark but it had given Bizarro a weakness in one particular area. He wanted Lois Lane.

How and why Clark had spent so much time fighting that feeling, he had no idea. It was no doubt the intensity of it that scared Clark. He had wasted a lot of time in trying to develop a relationship with the more predictable Lana Lang. Lana was pretty to be sure but there was no passion in it. Lois was beautiful, vibrant, and sassy. Everything you could want in a woman. Lana was a girl.

Bizarro could taste the kisses that Lois had given Clark on Valentine's day and he wanted more, needed more. Even timid Clark had admitted to his mother that he wanted to kiss Lois and that was putting it mildly. They were addicting and he intended to get more as he sped off for her apartment.

"Come in," she called, when he banged on the door. "I'm glad to see you've learned to knock," she said without looking up from the packing she was doing.

"Where are you going?" he asked

She looked up at him in surprise. "Are you kidding me? You know I'm going on assignment. My plane's leaving in--and what the heck are you doing?" she asked, as he had moved in behind her. She circled around to the other side of the bed. "I've learned my lesson about you getting behind me."

He grinned at her and started to move closer. "I'm just trying to say goodbye, so you won't forget me while you're away."

"There's no danger of that happening. What would Lana say if she could see you right now?" Lois asked, as she jumped up on the bed and ran across it. He had almost trapped her against the wall.

"Lana?" he echoed in a confused manner. He thought she was dead but people around here didn't stay dead very long.

"Yeah, you know your girlfriend. Ringing any bells? I don't think this would look very innocent, whatever this is."

"Lana's overrated," he said, chasing after her with no intention of letting her escape his advances this time.

Chloe wrecked it by coming in. She stared at them suspiciously, as she had caught them running before they'd frozen at her arrival. He didn't speak because he didn't want to do anything to tip Chloe off. He just hoped there was no need for more recent memories.

Lois moved next to Chloe, "Thank goodness you're here."

"Am I interrupting something?" she asked, putting the grocery bags down on the counter.

"Not at all," Lois said, "but don't forget you have to drive me to the airport."

"But that's not for--"

"Right now, Chloe."

"Okay," she agreed.

Lois snapped her suitcase shut and said, "Make sure you get plenty of rest while I'm gone, Smallville and clear your head."

Chloe's curiosity was piqued. She clearly hoped to drag it out of Lois on the car trip but if he knew Lois, there was no chance of that happening.

He had momentarily considered going to the airport after her but he had a much better idea. Although the idea of fighting with her intrigued him, he didn't just want her for just one night. He wanted her for a lifetime. While he was in the lab, he had learned that Lex was making human clones. It had taken a while but he had succeeded in giving them life. He had a couple chained in the lab.

He found Lois' hairbrush, which she'd forgotten to pack in her haste to get away from him. He definitely had her flustered. If his moves had really been unwelcome, she would have tried to hurt him. Of course, she didn't know that wasn't possible. When she'd slapped him last time, it hadn't been hard even by human standards. She liked him. If another man had tried what he did, she would have stood her ground and beat the crap out of him. Instead, she had retreated, very uncharacteristic for her. She was confused by his interest in her and probably confused by her own feelings. All he needed was an uninhibited clone. He pulled a long brown strand of hair from her hairbrush and smiled. Pretty soon there was going to be a Bizarro Lois.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

The machine was easy to operate. You pulled out the tray, placed the DNA in it, slid it back in, and pushed a button. In less than 5 minutes, a clone was created. Bizarro eagerly waited for the results.

The Lois clone lifted the lid off the confined space she was in, gasping for her first breath. Her eyes took in her surroundings and him. Then she looked down. "I'm naked," she said.

"I know," he grinned back wickedly.

She frowned. "I want clothes like you have."

Although he looked like it pained him to do it, he unbuttoned his shirt and gave it to her. There was no denying she was Lois' clone. "I know where you can go to get some proper clothes and I also have a few ideas about what we can do when we get there."

He helped her climb out of the machine and then scooped her up and flew them back to the real Lois' apartment. He wasted no time once they were through the window. He shoved her against the wall and kissed her long and hard. She responded but then she tried to shove him away. She couldn't move him unless he wanted to be moved and he didn't. Instead, he moved his kissing to her neck and shoulder, allowing her to talk.

"I'm not sure what this is but I think I like it."

Bizarro smiled. She shared some of Lois' traits but not her memories. He and she were 2 different kinds of clones but he found her naivety attractive. She was his to corrupt. The real Lois had too many morals for his liking. He picked her up and took her to the bed. "You haven't seen anything yet."

---

"So Lois caught her plane okay then?" Lana asked.

Lana, Chloe, and Kara were sitting at a table in the Talon, drinking coffee.

"She should. In fact, she made me drop her off 2 hours early. I don't think she's even left yet. She insisted she'd kill time by eating at the airport. Why do you ask any anyway? You seem eager for her to be gone."

"No, I just..."

"Don't like that she spends so much time alone with Clark?" Chloe finished for her. Lana didn't say anything but her silence said it all. "Listen, you have nothing to worry about. I know things seem a little weird between them sometimes and to a casual observer it may seem like--but it's not like that. They're just friends and friends who fight I might add."

"I don't know," Kara said. "I think Lana has a right to be concerned. If my boyfriend--" she stopped when Chloe shot a look of disapproval in her direction and changed the subject, "You know I still haven't solved the mystery of coffee. You take your first sip and you think this is the nastiest stuff I have ever tasted in my life and I'm never drinking it again but pretty soon you're drinking more and thinking I'm in love with this stuff and if it were a man, I'd marry it."

"Yeah, well, thanks for sharing that," Chloe said, as she finished off her coffee. "I'm going upstairs. Maybe watch some TV. Do you all want to come with me? You can take your coffee with you."

"Sure," Kara said.

"Why not," Lana replied.

They followed Chloe up the stairs. The girls went into the apartment and came to a petrified standstill at the sight of what they thought was Clark and Lois in bed, who looked up at the intruders without the least bit of embarrassment or guilt. Although Bizarro did look irritated at the interruption.

No one said anything at first but then Kara cried out triumphantly, "I knew Lois was his girlfriend!"

This prompted fierce glares from Chloe and Lana. Kara just shrugged.

Chloe turned back to the couple under the sheets. "We're going to give you two exactly one minute to get some clothes on and then you have some major explaining to do." She opened the door leading back out of the apartment and ushered Lana and Kara out. She looked back to shake her head disapprovingly at the sinful couple, who looked more amused now than anything else.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Lana, who had been fairly composed until she was outside of the apartment, burst into tears. Kara awkwardly patted her on the back until Chloe came out.

Chloe put an arm around Lana and said, "Maybe it's not as bad as it looks."

Lana looked at her incredulously, "There's no way to misinterpret that. He cheated on me!" she sobbed, throwing her face into her hands.

"There might be a perfectly good explanation," Chloe assured her, "like red kryptonite."

Kara suddenly got very interested. "Red kryptonite does that? Where can I get some?"

"No, it's too dangerous," Chloe said. "For Kryptonian chemistry, it's a drug and they lose their inhibitions. You could do all kinds of reckless things, not just in that department. If you got the urge to kill somebody, you'd have no reasoning to stop yourself. For earth chemistry, it does work like a love potion. They fall in love with the first person they see. Obviously you couldn't use it on anybody without it affecting you."

Kara looked disappointed. She'd had all kinds of ideas.

"What does it matter?" Lana asked. "It still means he's attracted to her and how can I ever get over the fact that he slept with Lois? I'll never be able to look at either one of them the same way again."

Chloe looked about ready to say something but then thought better of it. There was no use in dragging up the past. Lana knew who she'd slept with and that it bothered Clark a lot more than Lois bothered her. Instead, she said, "You've seen them on red kryptonite when they crashed your engagement party. You knew he was somewhat attracted to her way before you started dating again. Anyway, they've had plenty of time to dress. Let's go find out what's going on."

Chloe knocked just to be on the safe side. She never wanted to see her cousin and best friend in those kinds of circumstances again. There was no answer or any indication that anyone was in there. She warily opened the door. The bed was disheveled, proving that it hadn't been a dream or an illusion but no one was in the apartment. Kara and Lana came in too. They all looked toward the open window.

"So Lois is in on the secret too?" Kara said. "My cousin couldn't scale those walls. He had to have jumped down with her."

"I know," Chloe said. "On to a busy street. I just hope nobody saw anything. I can't believe those 2 sneaks pulled a stunt like this and then didn't stick around for the consequences. It's not like them."

"What are you doing?" Kara asked, when Chloe picked up the phone.

"I'm calling Lois. She's never without her cell phone, unless she's gotten into trouble."

"Assuming she'll even answer," Lana muttered.

"And assuming she'll have clothes to carry it on her," Kara added. She got glares and frowns from Lana and Chloe but they hardly phased her. "What? It's the truth."

Chloe shook her head as she dialed Lois' number.

---

Lois knocked softly on the door of the Kent farm and then opened it very cautiously. "Clark," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Clark looked up from the couch with a puzzled expression. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine. Are you fine?" she asked, still holding onto the knob, ready to slam it shut if hadn't recover from whatever was going on with him earlier.

"Sure I'm fine. You look nervous. Are you sure you're okay? You haven't even come in yet."

He seemed normal and he hadn't gotten up from the couch, so she came all the way in and shut the door behind her.

"I thought you had a plane to catch? It was today, wasn't it?"

"Yeah," she answered. "The festival was canceled due to a storm, so I don't have to cover it."

"That's too bad."

"Not really. It doesn't affect my income and that's one less filler, fluffy piece that I have to cover."

"Still, it would have been a nice vacation."

"Yeah, maybe."

"For the both of us," he grinned to show he was just kidding.

She smiled back but it was still strained. "So I took a cab back to Smallville and I thought I'd check and see if you were back to your old self and wanted to apologize for earlier."

Clark's eyebrows furrowed as he thought back to the last time he was with her. Earlier was breakfast, when he'd went over to eat with Lois and Chloe. He didn't remember doing anything that called for an apology. He did call her an orange juice thief but as she'd stolen a drink of his orange juice when he wasn't looking, he'd felt justified.

"Don't apologize then but you'd better not do it again."

"Okay," he said, humoring her. "I'm watching a new superhero movie. You want to watch it?"

"I guess," she said, sitting down at the other end of the couch, "but they have way too many. They have one successful movie or TV show and they get on a kick until you're ready to puke. They can't stop because they think it's some kind of formula when what people really want is variety."

"I like all the superhero stuff. It's just a TV movie, so the special effects aren't as good. So far, this guy has gotten powers from a lab experiment gone wrong. Now he's afraid his girlfriend won't accept him and his best friend has become his archenemy."

"See? They even recycle the same old, cliché plots."

"Why are you sitting all the way at the other end of the couch?"

"I don't know. Why?"

"It's just you usually sit closer than that. I don't have any cooties I promise."

She looked distrustful for a moment. She wondered if he was trying to put the moves on her again but he was looking at her so innocently, she began to question if it wasn't all in her head. She laughed to remove her last remaining tension. "Actually I've been sitting for too long. I'd rather lay down."

He patted his lap to indicate that she was welcome to put her feet up. She slipped off her shoes and put her feet up.

"You can take your socks off too if you want."

"Are you sure about that?" she said, moving her right foot up to his nose. "I can't guarantee they won't stink."

He pushed her foot back down, annoyed because she'd put her foot on his nose. He pulled her socks off. "They don't stink unless you've been out jogging."

She laughed and they started watching the movie. She gave a happy sigh. They were the most carefree when they were around each other. She'd never had a closer relationship in her entire life. She'd never been as emotionally communicative as she was with Clark and she had feeling the same held true for him. They spilled their guts to each other all the time and then wondered why later. It was often disguised by their bantering but it worked for them. If anything or anyone ever ruined their friendship, she didn't know what she'd do or who she'd turn to.

Just as she was starting to get into the movie, her cell phone rang. "Hello?"

"Lois Lane, get your butt back here and bring Clark with you!"

"Chloe?"

"No, it's the Queen of Sheba. Yes, it's me. Is Clark with you?"

"Yeah, we're--"

"I don't want to know what you're doing!"

Clark was still into the movie and was absentmindedly rubbing her feet, which didn't bother Lois as he was very good at it.

"We're just watching TV and he's giving me a nice foot rub. What's the matter with you?"

"No details! So you know about his powers then?"

Lois was a little curious about how Chloe knew what they were watching amd figured she must have heard it in the background. "I didn't see when he got his powers but I've seen him using them if that's what you mean."

"Great, so you two can get back here quickly."

"What are you talking about?"

"Let me give you a hint. It involves Clark Kent sleeping with a certain person in our apartment."

"No, no, no!" Lois cried out disgustedly, causing Clark to pay attention. "Not in my bed! Please, tell me not in my bed!"

"Yes, in your bed."

"I'll be right there with Clark." She hung up. "You disgusting pig!" she said angrily, sitting up and using her pocketbook to hit him repeatedly. "So that's what it was. You were trying to get me out of the apartment, so you could have fun-time with Lana!"

"What?" he said, trying to shield himself from the pocketbook.

"Don't play dumb with me. Chloe caught you. She wants to talk to you. We both do and I'm nowhere near done hitting you!"

Clark followed her out the door, trying to figure out what was going on, which was made harder as Lois kept turning around with another round of purse-hitting.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Lois violently swung open the door and threw her suitcase down on the floor. Clark looked hesitant about coming in but he did anyway.

"I could have carried your suitcase for you," he told her.

"You are never touching my stuff again! As a matter of fact, take a good look around you. This is the last time you'll ever see the inside of my apartment."

"I don't understand what I did."

"You know what you did, you perverted jerk. Now I'm going to have to burn my sheets. No, I'm going to have to burn the entire bed. Better yet, I should find a new apartment. You know I consider myself a pretty liberal person in that respect. When I was staying at your house, I didn't care what you did with her because it was your house. But to come into my place and do it in my bed, I'm not that liberal."

Chloe cleared her throat and they finally noticed the 3 women, who were standing there with folded arms. Lois moved to join them, folding her own arms. "Start explaining Clark and you too, Lana."

"Lana?" echoed Chloe, Kara, and Lana.

"It wasn't Lana?" Lois asked in disbelief. "I don't think I believe that. Clark's many things but a cheater's not one of them. Who do you think he slept with?"

"With you," Chloe said confidently.

"Me," Lois said. "Me? What have you guys been smoking?"

Clark looked at her smugly. "How does it feel to be accused of something you didn't do?"

Lois went back over to Clark to hit him. "All I know is Chloe called and said you slept with somebody in my bed."

"And now she's saying that someone is you," Clark said, "which we both know never happened. I haven't done anything with anybody in--a long time."

"The same goes for me. In fact, I bet I've gone longer."

"I bet you haven't."

"Hey! Hey!" Chloe called, interrupting. "Is everything a contest with you two? I know what I saw and so do Lana and Kara. That's 3 against 2, so don't even try to lie your way out of it."

"You don't believe it, do you?" Clark asked Lana.

Lana didn't meet his gaze or answer.

Lois took a little sympathy on the couple. "He's absolutely right, Lana." Clark shot Lois a grateful look. "Do you know what would have to freeze over before Clark and I even kissed?"

"I'm sure the devil has picked out a nice pair of ice skates by now," Chloe said. "What makes you think you can lie to us? You don't seem like you're on or have been on red kryptonite, so why did you do it? Personally, it's none of my business other than I had no warning and I live here too. Lana, of course, is invested in this. You're not married to her but you should have had the decency to break up with her first, Clark."

"I don't want to break up because I haven't done anything," Clark insisted.

"I don't back Smallville up very often," Lois said, " but this time I am."

"For the record, I support you," Kara said. "I think you two make a cute couple."

"Shut up!" all the people in the room told her.

Realization suddenly dawned in Clark's eyes. "Perhaps we should turn on the news. I have a feeling our answer might be on there."

"I'm out of here," Lana said, storming out.

"I'll take care of her," Kara said. "You guys figure things out," and then she hurried after Lana.

"Clark, I know it's pretty shocking but the fact that you two slept together is not going to be on the evening news."

"Please, Chloe," Clark insisted.

She sighed and flicked the TV on. They all got closer to the TV when they saw what was on it. Metropolis was in complete chaos. People were running and screaming in fear as fire burned and buildings toppled. A woman reporter with olive-colored skin and flashing black eyes bravely continued to report through the disaster.

"As you can see, the destruction has not stopped. It's not unlike Dark Thursday. A man had been spotted starting the fires with his eyes and throwing cars and other heavy objects around like toys. A motive has not been determined yet. Experts are saying he is an alien. The military is preparing to--"

A car was thrown into the middle of the street, causing the reporter to run to avoid being crushed. A man, who looked just like Clark, stepped in front of the camera. Although the camera shook a little, it didn't go anywhere. The cameraman must have been paralyzed with fear.

"I don't have a real name like you humans have but I seem to have been named Bizarro. That's what you can call me. All you need to know is that I want to rule your planet." He looked at someone off screen. "Come here, my love." He pulled the woman, who looked just like Lois, onto the screen and brought her into a close, intimate hold. "We want to rule your planet. I have hidden a massive nuclear bomb that can destroy the entire world seven times over and only I know where it's at. Metropolis is a warning. If you refuse to cooperate, I will set it off. We can easily find another planet to conquer if we have to. The universe is a big place. The choice is up to you, citizens of earth. Accept my rule or you will be no more."

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Lois looked up. The screen had gone black and Clark was nowhere to be found. "Where in the world did Smallville go?"

"Where does Clark ever go?" Chloe responded. "Listen. I'm sorry about--"

"Save it. There are more important things to talk about right now like the fate of the world. I bet he went to explain things to Lana. Have you ever noticed that whenever we're in the middle of a crisis, all he can think about is his love life?"

"In his defense, there's almost always a crisis and he does help out."

"But he could do so much more if he wanted."

"That's probably tru--where are you going?" Chloe asked, as Lois was already halfway to the door.

"To Metropolis to see the freaky clones. Where else?"

"It's too dangerous."

"We're reporters. We're not supposed to wait for the news to come to us."

"You're right I guess. I'm going to get on the computer and see what I can find out. Call me if you need anything." Chloe sighed. Lois was already on the stairs and probably didn't hear her.

---

Lois wasn't in Metropolis long before 2 soldiers grabbed her. Normally, she'd put up a fight, but this time she wanted to be taken. She was hoping to see her father, who was sure to be in on the military side of the situation.

"I'm not the crazy clone," she clarified for them just in case they were taking her to be killed.

"We know, ma'am," one of the soldiers said. "She never leaves his sight, but we have orders to take you in."

A few minutes later, she was taken to a small building right outside of the city. It was the military's makeshift headquarters.

"Daddy."

"Lois, what do you know?" he asked immediately.

"Gee, it's nice to see you too. I'm fine."

"Lois, this is a matter of survival."

"I'm well aware of that. I don't know where Clark's clone came from, but I think he came to see me earlier. He must have stolen some of my DNA and made a clone somehow. I guess the process gives the clones powers."

"Only Clark's clone has them."

"Maybe my clone just hasn't used them."

"If that is a true copy of you, there's no way you wouldn't use them."

"I can't argue with that," she smirked. "So what's the plan?"

"You're a civilian. There's no plan that you're going to be in on. You will stay under heavily armed guard."

"Why?" she asked, but he just glared at her in response. "Come on. I deserve to be told that part of it, especially if you want my cooperation."

He gave in. "We don't want to confuse you with the clone. We're going to kill her."

"Are you out of your mind?"

"I'm your father and the man in charge of this operation. You will accept my orders."

"This concerns everybody and I don't know why copies of Clark and I are hitting it off romantically, but they are. I saw the broadcast. He loves her with a fierce passion. If you hurt her and especially if you kill her, he will blow up the world."

There was a brief look of hesitation in his eyes, but he said firmly, "She's his only weakness, the chink in his armor. We plan on capturing her and using her in our negotiations. We won't dispose of her until after."

"I get that, but you're playing with fire. He's superhuman. If you make him mad and taking her is going to make him mad, he'll--"

The phone rang and he answered it. "Mr. President, I…but…yes, sir," he hung it back up. "That was our commander-in-chief. He's handing over the country to that maniac and if the United States won't face him, other countries will likely follow suit." He seemed very resigned to this new development.

"So you've accepted the fact that we have an evil dictator now?"

"I obey my superiors."

"I don't. I'm not about to give up the fight."

Suddenly, the door opened and either Clark or Bizarro came in.

"Duck!" Lois yelled.

He did and the bullet lodged in the wall.

"What's the matter with you?" Lois screamed at her father, who was holding a gun now. "You could have killed Clark!"

"How do you know he's Clark?" he threw back.

"How do you know he's not and besides, he would have fried you to a crisp by now if he was Bizarro."

"It's okay, Lois," assured Clark. "He was just trying to protect you."

"What protection can you give in a case like this? You might as well poke a stick at a grizzly," Lois replied.

"I'm glad to see you, Kent," the general said, choosing not to respond to her remark. "I have a few questions for you."

"With all due respect, sir, now isn't a good time," Clark said.

"Just what the heck did you mean by that?" Lois asked her father. "You're not trying to accuse Clark of anything, are you?"

"Lois," Clark said, changing the subject. "I don't think you should be in Metropolis."

"You're here and what does it matter if I blow up here in Metropolis or in Smallville? Now as much as I've enjoyed this lovely get-together with the both of you, I'm getting out of here and doing something useful," she said, slamming the door behind her.

General Lane looked like a volcano about to erupt, as he crushed the cigar in his hand.

"Don't worry. I won't let anything happen to her. I promise," and Clark hurried after her.

"I'm sure you won't," he muttered. He looked at the soldiers in the room. "I want all the information there is on Clark Kent and I want him under surveillance from now on."

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Bizarro buttoned up his pants and then leaned over the bed to kiss Bizarro Lois. "I'll be back as soon as possible, my darling. The U.S. is ours, but there are a few other places to take care of."

She sat up with a pouty lip. "I want you to stay." Then she smiled. "Let me go with you. It'll be fun to watch you kill more people."

"It'll go faster if I do it alone, but if you're good while I'm away, I'll let you kill some people of your own."

"You're wonderful," she said adoringly.

"Don't worry about anything. You'll be safe here. There's an alarm and if you call for help, I'll hear you."

"I never worry. I know you'll protect me."

He kissed her one last time and then leapt out of the window.

Bizarro Lois let out a heavy sigh. She missed him already. She decided to occupy herself by watching TV and became captivated by an episode of Sesame Street.

---

"Lois, where are you going?"

She came to a complete stop. "You know I'm not sure. I guess I'm hoping to run into Bizarro. I assume you're in Metropolis to find him too?"

"Yeah, but I'm not having any success."

"Let me call, Chloe. If I know her, she's probably found a boatload of useful information by now."

"I knew you'd need my help," Chloe said, when she answered her phone.

"Does anyone ever use greetings anymore, a nice hello or how are you? We're not having any luck. I'm sure you know the U.S. handed itself over to Bizarro, so the military won't be opposing him. Any information on how to defeat him or his whereabouts would be greatly appreciated."

"Where's Clark?"

"With me."

"What's he doing?"

Lois gave an annoyed sigh. "What does it matter? He's following me around and he's just as clueless."

"Tell her there's a green problem," Clark said.

"This is no time to start worrying about pollution and diminishing resources. I doubt our benevolent, new leader cares about the environment, since he was willing to blow it up."

"What are you talking about?" Chloe asked.

"Clark said there's a green problem."

"Oh," Chloe said, understanding the meaning. "I can't help you with a way to defeat him, but I found a forum where they're talking about Bizarro. This one guy says Bizarro's taken over an expensive penthouse in the building next to him. Of course, there's no way to know if he's telling the truth or which penthouse. Oh, hold on. A woman just posted and she's confirming it. She says it's on 3rd street and she saw them through the window having---well, that's not important, but it seems legitimate. Hades109 just posted asking if MeTroGirL is Trish from downstairs and--"

"That's enough," Lois said. "Thanks. Bye." She turned to Clark. "The internet is a strange and wonderful thing. It amazes me that people are spending what could be the end of the world logged onto the internet, posting information about a dictator like he's an interesting new celebrity. However, I can't complain about it, as we needed the information. I'm glad Chloe is such a computer whiz because I'd never be able to find these things," Lois rambled on, but they continued their quick pace toward 3rd street.

The people who were still walking the streets of Metropolis gave them fearful looks and plenty of space. It was making them both nervous. It might be hard to explain and assure the people around them that they weren't their evil counterparts a long time after this. They passed an elderly, homeless man, who put his gloved hands over his face and croaked out pitifully, "Please, don't hurt me."

"We're not going to hurt you," Lois said gently and kept moving.

Clark stopped to slip the man 5 bucks. After he caught back up with Lois, he asked her, "Do you actually have a plan or are you going to make it up as you go?"

"I have a plan believe it or not."

"Are you going to let me in on it?"

"You probably won't like it."

"Probably not, but tell me anyway."

"For some reason, this Bizarro you has a thing for me, right?"

"Right," Clark said uncertainly, afraid to know where this was going.

"So I can use my feminine wiles to learn how to defeat him."

"There is no way you can defeat him, but if you want to help, you could get the green meteor rock out of his pocket."

"I don't see how that's going to help."

"It will. You just have to trust me. You know what on second thought, if something went wrong I couldn't save you. We'll have to think of something else and I don't like the idea of him putting his hands on you."

"Speaking of hands, is he the one who grabbed--"

"Yes," Clark answered immediately, embarrassed to talk about it.

"Why didn't you tell me it wasn't you?"

"I didn't really think you'd believe me."

"Where has he been all this time?" she asked.

"The sun weakened him, but it has to be a long and close exposure."

"How was he made?"

"It's a complicated story."

"How was my clone made?" she asked, unable to stop the barrage of questions she had.

"I'm not sure, differently I know."

"That's why he has powers and she doesn't?"

She was offering him a way out, but he just couldn't flat out lie to her, so he changed the subject instead. "Listen, we should concentrate on now."

"True enough. So I get the green rock and then what?"

"You shouldn't be doing this."

"Feeling left out? You know you could keep my clone busy. I want him to think I'm the clone and if she arrives on the scene, it could mess things up."

"Let me get this straight. You want us to seduce each other's clone?"

"I'd like to think of it as hands-on flirting. It sounds less disturbing that way. Just do it enough to keep her distracted. It shouldn't take me too long. You'll take the plan from there apparently, even though I don't see how."

"I know I'm not going to change your mind, but can we not--"

"Tell Lana?" she predicted. "That goes without saying and I would include everybody on that list. I don't see why she'd get jealous though. We're going to be subjecting ourselves to nightmares for years to come. Can you imagine us comingling?" she shivered to emphasize her point.

"Yeah," he said, but he didn't sound disgusted or like he thought it was nightmares he was going to be having. He knew this was a bad idea.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

They found the penthouse and stood at the door, wondering how they were going to get in. Clark x-rayed the place and saw that only Bizarro Lois was in there.

"You should wait on the fire escape," he told Lois. "I don't think Bizarro's in there."

"How do you know?" she questioned.

"Call it intuition but the fire escape is your best bet."

"What are you going to do?"

"Wait right here. He's not going to ride up the elevator and come through the front door."

She gave him a look that said she was aware he knew more than he was telling but she went out onto the fire escape without saying anything. Clark broke the door open and used his heat vision to destroy the alarm. He dashed up to the bedroom to keep Bizarro Lois from spoiling anything and was grateful to see that she had clothes on, even if it was suggestive lingerie.

It was a strange sight to see this Lois look-alike in revealing clothing, watching an innocent show like Sesame Street. She was even counting to 10 with Elmo. She smiled at him when she saw him and turned the TV off. She jumped out of bed and ran over to hug him.

"You're back," she said, sounding very happy.

He almost wished the real Lois would greet him like this. The only time they ever hugged was during a crisis, either emotional or physical and then he couldn't really enjoy it. He pulled out of the hug and swallowed hard. It would make this situation so much easier if she wore flannel pajamas like Lois did. As it was, he struggled to keep his eyes where they belonged.

He looked at the wall and stuttered nervously, "I m-missed you."

She slinked up behind him, slipping her arms around his waist. She kissed the back of his neck, "I missed you too."

He pulled away and in his nervousness fell back onto a chair. She wasn't on a preschool level with everything, no doubt Bizarro's fault. She moved in a very seductive manner toward him and he backed further against his chair. He'd had a lot of dreams like this since Valentine's day, no matter how hard he tried not to and now it seemed to be happening in real life, even if it wasn't quite the same girl.

He was so distracted he wasn't sure he heard right when she whispered, "Can I kill someone now?"

He looked up at her in confusion and then she sat down on his lap, causing him to get even more confused. He squirmed uncomfortably but managed to get out, "Uh, um, it's--it's b-bad to kill people."

"It is?" she asked. "Then why do you do it?"

"I don't." He remembered he was supposed to be Bizarro. "I mean I don't anymore."

"Okay," she said simply like a 4 year old who'd just been told it was bad to eat cookies before supper and easily accepted it.

She flashed him a grin and Clark suddenly felt as if his bones had gone to jelly. That was a Lois grin, the disarming, playful smile with a hint of seductiveness. One she'd never directed at him except when she'd thought he was the Green Arrow and when she'd been under the influence of red kryptonite. It made him feel like putty easily molded in her hands. For a second, he was fooled into thinking she was Lois and the faux Lois took the opportunity to swoop in and kiss him. She also started to remove his belt. Before he had time to push her off his lap, he heard the door opening.

---

Lois sighed and leaned up against the brick building. She hadn't been out there long but it was windy and she was nervous. It'd be easier if it was Clark. She quickly banished the thought. That was a bad way to think but true. He'd be the bumbling, nervous one. She saw a speck in the distance quickly growing larger and before she had time to process it, Bizarro was on the fire escape with her and he grinned a wicked, hungry grin. Before she could say anything, his lips crashed against hers. It made her feel dirty and she pushed him away. He made direct eye contact with her and she shuttered. There was such an evil about him unlike the good that Clark radiated. It was hard but for just a little while she had to pretend this man was Clark. She flushed slightly when she thought about kissing Clark and that it wouldn't completely horrify her. She had to remember to keep thinking of him like a brother, except for right now. She bravely put her arms around him and pulled him into a close kiss, letting her hand slowly make its way down to his pocket, seeking the object that would make this all over. However before she could get it, she felt his hand enclose over her wrist with a bone-crushing grip and he stopped kissing her and pinned her wrist against the wall over her head.

"Do you think I'm stupid?" he asked. "That I don't know you're the original Lois Lane?"

"Then why did you let me kiss you?"

"I thought I might as well have a little fun. You know you could have been my queen, ruled by my side. You're a foolish woman. The world belongs completely to me now, every square inch. Some rulers needed some persuasion. I found the Vatican City particularly challenging and they made me mad when they dumped water on me but I succeeded. I also diffused the bomb, you'll be happy to know."

"You're so wonderful," she said sarcastically.

"You're in a sticky situation. If I were you, I'd be nice to me."

"What are you going to do with me? Throw me off the side of the building?" she quipped.

"I have a soft spot for you. You're the original after all. If you play your cards right, I'm perfectly willing to let you live."

"What as your love slave?" she sneered.

"Now there's an idea," he said, releasing some of the pressure on her wrist to bring it to his lips.

She used the moment to grab the rock out of his right pocket with her other hand and throw it from the fire escape. He caught it and the rock turned white as it seemed to give him extra strength. The next thing she knew, he had her dangling off the side, the only thing keeping her from the pavement was his grasp on her wrist.

"You are very stupid. I don't need you now that I have a copy. That rock was my protection and it gives me extra health if I need it and you wasted that. Now you'll pay." He smiled again, only this time the smile meant he was going to enjoy torturing her. He slowly removed each finger until only his pinky was keeping her from falling. "Goodbye, Lois."

The door leading out to the fire escape swung open and Kara was there with a blue rock in her hand. Lois started to fall as Bizarro released her in surprise but Kara was quickly at the ledge and grabbed her, pulling her back onto the fire escape. Bizarro had passed out. Lana was also there.

"You two have perfect timing," Lois said. "Is that another magical meteor rock? What does it do?"

"Apparently makes him nice," Kara answered. "Although I'll believe that when I see it."

"How do you know that's what it does?"

"Well, we heard about the whole world denomination thing and figured out what was going on. I got the information from a source of mine."

"What source?" Lois asked.

"I can't tell you that."

"I don't like it but as a journalist, I can appreciate having secret sources."

"Where's Clark?" Lana asked, speaking for the first time.

"He was at the front door." Lois' eyes went wide. "Uh-oh. Lana you'd better stay here."

Kara laid the blue kryptonite next to Bizarro and followed Lois into the penthouse. Lana was right behind them.

When they opened the bedroom door, they found the clone on Clark's lap in a negligee, where she was working on removing his belt and kissing him. They stopped and looked to see who'd come in, Bizarro Lois with curious eyes and Clark with alarm.

Kara clicked her tongue chidingly, "Cousin, you just can't stay out of trouble with women today."

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Clark quickly stood up, careful not to let the Lois clone fall.

"How could you!" Lana cried and she ran to the room across the hall. The slam of the door and the click of the lock could be heard quite plainly.

"I swear it's not what it looks like," he felt the need to explain to Lois.

"I know," Lois said understandingly. "I feel a little responsible for this. I'm the one that told you to do it but I didn't mean for you to take it as far as letting her undress you."

"I know I--I," he turned a bright red as Kara, Lois, and Bizarro Lois studied him closely. "I thought she was L-Lana for a second."

"Yeah, because she looks just like Lana," Kara said in a playful tone.

Clark frowned at her and turned redder.

"Well, don't just stand there," Lois said. "Go explain it to Lana."

Clark hurried out the door.

"I better go downstairs and wait for when Sleeping Beauty wakes up," Kara said. "You can baby-sit your clone."

"Me?" Lois complained. "Just because we happen to share DNA does not make me in charge of her."

"Actually it kind of does," Kara smiled at her and left.

Lois looked at her copy warily.

"That wasn't Bizarro?" her clone asked in a childish tone.

"You catch on quick," Lois said sarcastically.

"Where is he? Where's my baby?"

"I don't know that I would call that evil thing a baby but he's passed out on the fire escape. Just follow Kara."

Bizarro Lois ran out of the room to follow her. Lois smiled. Kara could do the babysitting. She strained her ears to see how Clark's apology was going.

---

Clark knocked on the door and called out softly and apologetically, "Lana? Lana?"

"Go away! I have nothing to say to you."

"Please, open the door."

"Never!"

Clark knew it would probably make her angrier but he broke the doorknob and went inside. He had to talk to her face-to-face. "I'm sorry but it was just part of the plan to keep Bizarro Lois away from Lois and Bizarro. She had to get the green kryptonite away from him."

Lana's arms were folded and she wasn't looking at him. "Just a plan? You looked like you were enjoying the plan to me."

"I was distracted. I was thinking of you."

"Oh, please, you are such a bad liar," she said, turning to look at him. "I have to twist your arm to even kiss me these days."

"That's not true."

"Yes, it is. You haven't kissed me in the same way since we've been back together. Something's changed. It's like you're still holding a part of yourself back from me, a part you're reserving for someone else and I know who that someone is."

"I've told you a million times, Lana. She's just a friend."

"Is she? Then you won't mind ending that friendship for me."

"What?" Clark said, turning slightly pale.

"You heard me. It's her or me. Make your choice."

"That's not fair. It's a completely different kind of relationship."

"You're absolutely right and this is a wakeup call. You're afraid to let go of your boyhood and that means me in a lot of ways. Me, I've been trying to find my old self, if I ever had a real identity. I've had a steady flow of boyfriends because I was afraid of being single and I've always tried to mold myself into what they wanted me to be and in that process I've lost myself. We're not in love, if we ever were but you're in love with Lois."

"I am not."

"Then stop being friends with her."

"I can't," he said, exasperated.

"Why?"

"Because I can't imagine--" he stopped mid sentence.

"Your life without her," she finished for him. "That's called love, Clark. When you devote more than half of our conversation to what Lois said or did now and when she's away, you wonder what she's doing and you count the days to when she comes back. You can't go one day without missing her. That's love and besides, I want to stay in a small town but you're going to move to the city pretty soon."

"Why do you say that?" he sounded defeated, like he was beginning to accept what she was saying.

"Because Lois will. Chloe said she's getting tired of the commute and missing city life. She won't be in Smallville much longer and when she goes, you'll follow. Just do yourself a favor and don't wait too long to tell her how you feel."

"I never meant to hurt you."

"I know you didn't but we both did a good job of hurting each other anyway and clinging to a fantasy. I'm going back to the farm and move my stuff in with Aunt Nell."

Clark nodded and watched her retreating form. This was the first breakup he'd had with her that didn't end on an angsty, hurtful note. There was acceptance and a relief that it was over once and for all on both their parts. He gave her a head start and then went out into the hallway where Lois was waiting.

"Well, how'd it go? You guys weren't screaming so I could hear. Did you get things cleared up?"

"We did but it ended in a breakup."

"Don't feel bad. It'll get better. You'll mature and then look back on this time with Lana with a warm feeling. It's like summer fondly remembering spring."

"Lois--"

"I know not as good as my last Lana relationship analogy. I was quite proud of the piggy bank and Harley references but you didn't give me enough time to prepare. I thought it was going to last a little longer this time. Don't worry I'll be ready for the next time. I might even quote some Tennyson. Of course, I'll have to learn some Tennyson first. I think he writes about love."

"You know if I was really upset about this, you treating this lightly wouldn't be helping. Besides, there's not going to be a next time."

"That's what you always say."

"This time it's true."

"If you say so. We'd better get downstairs and join the others."

"So how did the Bizarro plan go?

"He almost killed me."

"What? Are you alright?"

"I'm here, aren't' I? Before you go there, don't you start thinking it's your fault. It was my idea. You can't watch me all the time. Kara rescued me with a blue rock that's supposed to make him nice."

There was a brief pause and then he said, "Lois?"

"What?"

"Do you like Sesame Street?" he asked with a grin.

"What kind of question is that? I liked it when I was little I guess, didn't you?"

"A little bit but I always watched more Mr. Rogers."

"I can picture you as a Mr. Rogers fan. I myself never saw the appeal of watching an old man in a sweater feed his goldfish and get mail."

"There was the Neighborhood of Make-Believe too but most importantly he made you feel good about yourself."

"My sister was into Barney. There was too much singing for me. You know who my favorite character was on Sesame Street?"

"Elmo?"

"No."

"Hold on, let me have one more guess. Oscar the Grouch. You two have so much in common."

"No," she said with a roll of her eyes. "Super Grover."

"Super Grover?"

"You've never seen a Super Grover skit?"

"No."

"You don't know what you're missing. You must know who Grover is. The funny, blue monster. In the skit, he's Grover Kent. That's a coincidence, isn't it, Smallville?"

"Kent's a common surname."

"Right. Anyway he's a doorknob salesman in Metro City but when he goes into a phone booth, he comes out as Super Grover with a red cape and a knight's helmet. He flies off to save the day and no one recognizes him. He usually messes things up without knowing it but his heart's in the right place. It's really cute. I wouldn't mind watching it now even as an adult. I think I was in love with Super Grover when I was little."

"So you're telling me that if a flying, blue man in red cape comes to save the day, you'll marry him?"

"You bet," she laughed.

Lois opened the door leading out to the fire escape and Kara shot her a dirty look, "You stuck me with your clone. She's annoying."

"And stupid," Lois added, "but she didn't get that from me."

Clark smiled, "I wouldn't call her stupid."

"I would," Lois said.

"She was just born today. She'll learn," Clark replied.

"Clark's right," Kara said. "She's not evil or stupid. She just needs more experience and a better influence."

Bizarro moaned and his eyes began to flutter open. Bizarro Lois grabbed his hand and waited for him to fully wake up. They all held their breath and waited to find out if Bizarro had really turned good.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Bizarro sat up, looking a little disoriented, he said, "I feel so different like a great weight has been lifted from me."

Bizarro Lois smiled in reply and threw her arms around his neck and kissed him.

"Gross, don't do that," Lois said, looking away.

They stopped and Bizarro Lois helped him to his feet.

"I feel bad about what I did earlier," Bizarro said. "I shouldn't have killed people. That was wrong and trying to rule the whole world by force was wrong."

"It worked," Kara said. "Jor--my source said he always has to have the blue kryptonite with him in order to stay good. On a side note, Clark, it wouldn't hurt you to use my source more often than you do. Bizarro, how do you feel about a ring?"

"It'd have to be a tight fit," Clark said.

"It would be," Kara answered him and to Bizarro she said, "You could never take it off."

Bizarro nodded and seemed to understand.

"I think it'd look hot," Bizarro Lois said with a smile, bringing him into another kiss.

"Would you stop that!" Lois said, looking away again.

Kara laughed. "Maybe you two should follow their lead."

Clark and Lois both turned red and glared at her.

"I guess your girlfriend wouldn't approve, would she, Clark?" Kara asked.

"I broke up with her," Clark mumbled, hoping Kara wouldn't hear and say something else embarrassing. There were times he cursed super hearing, particularly where his cousin was concerned.

"It's long overdue," Kara said. "Bizarro is proof that you--"

"I think it'd be a good idea for Bizarro Lois to wear one too," Clark said, diverting the topic, " as a backup."

Kara looked impressed. "You know sometimes I think there's nothing in that head of yours, cousin and then you go and surprise me. That's a very good idea."

"The question here is how are we going to get these rings made for them and keep it next to Bizarro the whole time," Lois said.

Kara looked hard and meaningfully at Clark and Clark got the message. He steered Lois toward the door. "Let's let Kara worry about that."

"Smallville, we can't--

"Kara, can handle them," Clark said. "I wouldn't leave them with her if I wasn't sure of that. We have other things we need to be doing anyway."

Lois let him lead her back in. "Like what?

"Like what we're going to do with them. Technically, they're the world's rulers. Do we call up all the countries and tell them it was just a practical joke?"

Lois bit her bottom lip in concentration for a couple seconds. "I hate to do it because I'm still ticked at my father but the General can help us out."

Clark didn't look thrilled at the prospect either. "You know what? I think Kara could use some help watching the clones after all. You go ahead and go see your father. I'll--"

"Oh no, you don't. You're coming with me," she said pushing him into the elevator. "I'll protect you from the big, bad general."

Clark groaned in protest but stayed in the elevator with her.

---

"Lois, I didn't expect to see you back here."

"You always make everyone feel so welcome," Lois said sarcastically. "Bizarro has been defeated and just so you know, he had powers because the clones were made differently."

General Lane sat up straighter in his chair. "What? How? Are you sure?"

"Does it matter how," Lois said, "and yes, I'm sure."

"I have to inform the president. Where are the clones?"

"You don't need them. " Lois said. "They're not going to be a bother to you anymore."

"Have you flipped your lid? They've committed some hefty crimes. There's no doubt in my mind. They will be executed. Unless you already--"

"No, Dad, we didn't kill them."

"Sir," Clark said, speaking up. "Lois' clone isn't guilty of anything and my clone, he's under control now."

"Surely, Kent, you're not under the illusion that they can be exonerated and free to live among us like normal human beings. They're dangerous."

"Sir, I--"

"Speaking of danger, young man, I'd like to speak to you in private," he said, standing up.

Lois leaned across the desk, staring intimidatingly at her father. "Leave Clark alone. He hasn't done anything."

The general leaned right back, "And I'm going to keep it that way."

"He's not going--"

Clark cleared his throat, the murderous tension hung thick in the air. Lois always said that the Kents' nonverbals made her uncomfortable but watching 2 Lanes go head-to-head was like watching a nuclear war. "Lois, I don't mind talking to him really."

General Lane victoriously went to the door that lead into another room and gestured for Clark to follow, leaving Lois waiting with folded arms.

Clark swallowed hard when he shut the door behind them and he couldn't remember why this was such a good idea. He remembered he'd been trying to stop a murder from taking place but now it looked like he was about to become the victim and he didn't have Lois to protect him.

"Clark Kent," he said and then there was a lengthy pause that seemed to go on forever. It was torture. He had to know what it was about. He hoped and prayed it wasn't about the powers. " I think you know what this is about."

"Sir?" Clark pictured all kinds of horrible scenarios. He was sure he knew about the powers and probably the alien heritage. He was also sure Samuel Lane would do what he thought was the patriotic thing and turn him over to the government, who would spend years testing and experimenting on him. It wouldn't be public information but Lois would no doubt find out and what would she say? Would she side with her dad? Would she ever look at him the same way again? Even though his friends usually ended up accepting him, it forever changed their relationship and he didn't want things to change with Lois, at least not in how she perceived him as a person. He didn't want her to see his powers and heritage when she looked at him. He still wanted to be called Smallville.

"Your clone has an obsession with my daughter. I assume this means you harbor feelings for her too."

"I, uh…what?" Clark hadn't expected this.

"Don't bother trying to lie to me. The fact that you're willing to face me alone after I took a shot at you is proof enough. When I first met you, I thought you were a spineless jellyfish, who enjoyed taunting my daughter and while that is still true to a certain extent, you've proven that you can grow a spine when you need to and that you care for my daughter. I did an extensive background search on you and I was going to keep you under constant surveillance for as long as I could anyway, until Bizarro took away my command but since your record came back squeaky clean and since you helped to save the world, I'm cutting you some slack."

Clark breathed a sigh of relief. His powers had come so close to being exposed thanks to Bizarro. The general had decided to believe Lois about where the powers had come from. Just when Clark thought he was off the hook, General Lane stepped closer and Clark could smell garlic, onion, and coffee, not to mention the smoker's smell on his breath. It was horrible enough individually but together it was a deadly combination. He had heard somewhere that some officers purposely gave themselves bad breath, so when they yell in a soldier's face, it adds to the effect. It certainly worked, Clark thought feeling sicker than he already was and he had to listen carefully to his snarl.

"If you ever hurt my daughter, I'll shoot again and be aware Kent I always hit my mark when I want to. You're not faster than a speeding bullet."

Clark was still trying to process the situation. He'd never had a "date's dad" talk before. Lana's Aunt Nell was the only one he'd ever had to get past and all she did was smile and offer him a snack. He'd heard about these talks. Apparently this one high school girl had a father who wrote the boy's name on a bullet, in case he didn't bring her home on time. Needless to say, it made her dates quite punctual. This father protecting his daughter was a new experience for him and one he hoped to never have again. Not that Lois' father would be able to follow through on the threat but following through would be just as bad because how could he explain that he was faster than a speeding bullet or that the bullet bounced off his chest. He nervously replied, "Sir, I'd never hurt Lois and I'd never let anyone else hurt her either."

Clark though he saw a pleased smiled start to tug at the General's lips but he just gave a satisfied nod. He knew Clark meant what he said. They left the room and Lois raised her eyebrows curiously when they came back out. "So what did you talk about?"

"I just wanted to apologize for earlier," the general said sharply. Lois didn't look like she brought it but she let it slide.

"Daddy, make your calls or whatever to restore the world's political powers and Clark and I will figure out a way to get rid of the clones."

"One hour, Lois," he warned, "and I will get involved."

Lois left without answering and Clark followed.

"Got any bright ideas Smallville?" she asked, when they got outside.

"Not really."

"You know I shouldn't have to come up with all the ideas. You've got a brain too. Use it once in a while."

Clark rolled his eyes but he did give it some thought as they headed back to the penthouse.

"I'm stumped," he said when they got there. "We could try and find a deserted area but the world is such a small place these days, it wouldn't work indefinitely."

"Fear no more," Kara said, coming out into the hall with them. "Clark, your friend, John Jones, has an idea."

Lois peeked into the living room to get a look at him and saw the man talking to their clones. "Who is he?" Lois asked, getting ready to go in.

"Don't go in there. He wants to talk to them privately. He can help. He has out of this world skills," Kara said. Clark shook his head at her to indicate that the pun came too close to the truth. She just ignored him and continued. "He helped take care of Bizarro last time."

"You want us to go to another planet?" Bizarro suddenly yelled out audibly and angrily.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

"Did he just say another planet?" Lois asked Clark and Kara. They were unsure how to answer her or how to cover it up. "I knew I saw a spaceship. There is alien life and you said I was crazy," she directed at Clark and then her eyes got wider, "but you knew, didn't you? John Jones is your friend. Where's he from? Mars?"

"What is it with you and Mars?" Clark asked.

"We might as well tell her the truth," Kara said. "Yes, he's from Mars. He's the last of his kind."

"Kara!" Clark said, unable to believe that she had just spilled his secret so casually.

"Oh please, Clark everyone else in your personal life knows except Jimmy. You can't hide this kind of thing forever and I 'd say Lois is as trustworthy as you can get."

Clark couldn't argue with her logic.

"Clark and I are also aliens. We're the last of our kind too," Kara told Lois.

"You ask a simple question," Lois said with a roll of her eyes and she started to go into the penthouse, but Clark grabbed her gently by the arm and waited until she looked him in the eyes and then said, "She's telling the truth." He knew she'd believe it if he told her. After all, he wasn't the best liar in the world.

"Wow, I guess I shouldn't call you Smallville anymore. Where are you really from?"

"A planet named Krypton."

"I expect details later, Smallville. Right now I suggest focusing on the clones," and she went in.

Clark smiled. She had still called him Smallville.

Kara pushed him playfully and smiled, "See? I told you she'd be cool about it."

"Yeah, I guess I should have told her sooner. It's such a relief not to have to hide it from her anymore. I see her on a daily basis. I suppose you should just trust the people that care about you."

"I don't want you to think I'm insensitive or anything, but quit yapping and let's get in there."

Lois was looking at Martian Manhunter with her arms crossed. "So when you say another planet, you mean another planet." She turned to Bizarro. "It's not a bad idea. You heard him. It's almost like Earth except a couple of galaxies away and you and Bizarro Me would have it completely to yourselves, no other intelligent beings around."

"That's the problem," Bizarro said. "I love her and she loves me and we're good companions for each other, but it's bound to get lonely with just the 2 of us there."

"I've thought about that," said Martian Manhunter. "Lex Luthor has made other clones in his experiment. I believe it inhumane to kill them, but they can't stay on earth either without causing problems. There are 4 of them. They shall live with you on the planet. I have them waiting for us outside the city. When I went back to the lab after I freed them, Lex had already destroyed all the evidence, but at least he won't be making anymore clones. He won't get away with his crimes forever though. One of these days it's going to catch up with him. The clones are made from his employees. They're all decent people mostly because they're new and therefore need some direction. I have no doubt that you can provide that leadership, Bizarro, now that you have changed your ways. On top of that, I can see with my x-ray vision that you are with child, Bizarro Lois. I assume it's developing so fast because he's the child of clones. At the rate it seems to be going, you'll be parents in a couple of days. That should definitely take care of the loneliness."

Bizarro and Bizarro Lois gave cries of joy and threw their arms around each other. The real Clark and Lois' mouths hung open in surprise.

Lois, finding her voice said to Clark, "Do you realize what this means? Our DNA mingled to create life. It's almost like we're parents in a weird sort of way."

Clark was still too dumbfounded to reply.

"Yeah, just think," Kara said. "If you two had slept together at the same time as they had, you'd probably be having the same genetically coded kid. It'd be kind of like having twins."

Clark and Lois barely managed to glare at her, they were still so stunned.

"I can't imagine us ever having a kid," Lois said. "If he inherited your broodiness, I'm-destined-to-be-alone philosophy and my temper and aggressiveness, that's a recipe for a sociopath."

Martian Manhunter chuckled. "I hardly think so. Children are never equal blends of their parents."

"I didn't think it was possible for me to have children," Clark said still dazed.

Lois hit him. "Don't go getting any ideas. It's still not possible for you to have children, not with me anyway. Baby Bizarro is as close as it's ever going to get."

Bizarro was x-raying Bizarro Lois' stomach.

"So are you ready for that new planet?" Martian Manhunter asked.

"We're ready," Bizarro answered.

"Wait," Bizarro Lois said. "I want to get married. Mama Bear and Papa Bear are married because they have Baby Bear."

"I don't even want an explanation," Lois told Clark. Clark just smiled.

"You have those blue rings," Martian Manhunter said. "They can serve as your wedding rings. When it comes down to it, marriage is simply a lifetime commitment. Promise to love and stay faithful to each other for as long as you both live and you have a marriage."

"I never thought about it like that," Clark said.

"Come on we have to hurry and get back to the Planet, so we can write this story before someone else does," Lois told him.

"We?"

"Yeah, you and I."

"Why do I have a feeling you wouldn't be saying that if I were a fellow reporter?"

"I might share a byline if my name came first. Don't worry you'll get an honorable mention in the article and you can explain some things to me on the way," she said, going out the door.

Clark followed. "What about Chloe, she--" the door shutting muffled the rest, but their arguing could be heard all the way to the elevator.

"I can hear where the other clones are," Bizarro said. "I'm going to go ahead and fly my wife and I over there."

"I'm coming too," Martian Manhunter said. He let them leap out first and he was getting ready to leap out himself.

"So you think the real Clark and Lois will ever get together?" Kara asked him.

He smiled. "I think it's more than likely. Their clones are without the years of bias and repression that the real ones have and they are acting on what they feel without hesitation. Clark and Lois have those same feelings, they just have to work through the denials first. I believe Clark is much closer than Lois in that regard."

"I think so too," Kara said. "Now that I know that for sure, I intend to help nudge them in that direction."

Martian Manhunter flew out the window after the clones.

Kara grinned and said out loud even though there was no one left to listen, "Yep, I'm going to make sure they have the same fate as their bizarre clones."

The End


End file.
